MO's bar and grill!

[BOLO]

I resemble that remark

Yassss.... Don't we all?
Well, then, I'll have another drink, Whatever he's having. Bottoms up.

2004 DNC Convention Official Program
6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:30pm - Anti-war rally no. 1.
6:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Spain.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally no. 2. (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony.

9:30pm - * Intermission *

10:00pm - Flag burning ceremony no. 2.
10:15pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:30pm - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm - Double gay marriage ceremony.
11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00pm - Nomination of democratic candidate

[MO]

Damn! It's happy hour and no one is here!

[BOLO]

Sorry Mo. Had to take care of business, convention is in town, had happy hour alllll day. Have one on me.

[MO]

Good news! Drinks are on BOLO!

[RC364]

In that case, BOLO, I will take all that is behind the bar and whatever is on tap.

And there is nothing wrong with being a blonde!!

[RC364]

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are stranded on an island.
While they were on the island a man asked them what they had brought. The brunette replyed "I brought some food." The man said "O.K." So the man went to the red head and she said "I brought a bottle of water." The man said "O.K." Next the man asked what the blonde brought and she said "I brought a car
door." The man asked why and the blonde said "Just in case it gets hot I can roll down the window."

[MO]

Q- How can you tell when a horny drunk is lying?

A- When he opens his mouth! ;D

[scummybear]

Bill Clinton goes to hell, but hell is full. The Devil says,"We'll have to send someone out to let you in"; so Clinton is shown three doors from which to choose someone to replace.
Behind the first, is Tom Daschle, hanging by his toes over hot coals. Clinton says,"Naw, I don't think that's for me".
Behind the second door is Ted Kennedy, in scuba gear, diving in a lake of hot oil and fire. Clinton says,"Definitely not!"
Behind the third, is James Carville, with Monica Lewinsky
doing to him what she does best. Clinton says, "Hey, I can handle that!
Devil says, " OK Monica, you can go".

[scummybear]

Hope I don't get bounced out of the bar!

Is it too early for me to have a drink?

[MO]

Is it too early for me to have a drink?

It was too early for me when you posted that. It's after five so I can have one with you now. I just came out of a year long slumming phase, so I don't want to break any of my rules.
<cheers, Scummybear!>

[BOLO]

And there is nothing wrong with being a blonde!!

Coors not. Summa my bestest friends are Blondes. Have nother on me. Take a blonde too iffen you wan one.

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"

"Why, I’ve been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf."

[MO]

Men are like .... Laxatives ....They irritate the shit out of you..

Men are like .... Bananas .......... The older they get, the less firm they
are.

Men are like .... Vacations ..... They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like .... Weather .......... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like .... Blenders ......... You need One, but you're not quite sure
why.

Men are like .... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, &tthey usually head
right for your hips.

Men are like .... Coffee .......... The best ones are rich, warm, &can keep
you up all night long.

Men are like .... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like .... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like .... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like .... Mascara .......... They usually run at the first sign of
emotion..

Men are like .... Popcorn .......... They satisfy you, but only for a little
while..

Men are like .... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last..

Men are like .... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like .... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest
are handicapped

[MO]

Beer me!

[BOLO]

Done.

The Guys' Rules
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1 . Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

Have nother on me.

[scummybear]

Thanks BOLO!
Don't mind if I do!

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!