Post by Misunderstood on May 14, 2003 0:49:54 GMT -5
I'm not here to quote the AMA or the politicians...but I would like you to read my story and have a bit of a personal perspective on this topic that you all seem to be so passionate about.
When I was 28, my husband and I learned that I was pregnant with our first child. We were ecstatic. I cannot begin to describe the rush of excitement that I felt when I learned I was carrying our child. We had been together for 11 years, and had just gotten married 3 months before when I learned that I was 4 weeks along.
My early months were marred with problems....spotting and unusual waves of severe dizziness. As the months went on, my bleeding let up somewhat (as I was restricted from just about everything, and followed my doctor's orders to the tee!) but I was soon plagued by a severe pain in my lower back which progressed down my left leg. By 4 months, my walking was severely impaired. Doctor after doctor, ultrasound after ultrasound, no answer as to what was causing my pain. By the time I had reached my fifth month, I was almost incapable of walking, and knew full well that a wheelchair would be necessary if it continued to worsen.
I went for a routine ultrasound at 19 weeks, and it was then that we received the devastating news. Our baby's brain had not divided, but the radiologist was having a difficult time getting a clear picture, so we were sent to a reknowned hospital for a Level II. I was seen by one of the top sonographers in the country (not intentionally, we just got lucky that he happened to be available at the time). Within minutes after beginning the ultrasound, we were devastated to learn that our baby was suffering from a severe case of Trisomy 13, meaning that there was a triplicate of the #13 chromosome, instead of the normal pair. The baby had one eye in the center of his face, and no nose. The lip was cleft (though the facial distortion was so severe that the cleft was not confirmed). The brain had not divided and was shaped like a hollow "C." The baby was incapable of movement, aside from basic reflex actions. In essence, the brain stopped forming at the stage of a 2-week fetus, and though it would continue to grow in size, it would not continue to form and function. The ears were low set on the neck, and the top of the face was sloped. There was a large hole in the heart. The kidneys were not functioning and filled with fluid. The bowels were enclosed in a sac outside of the baby's body. The genetalia were completely deformed, making it impossible to determine the sex without karotyping the chromosomes. There were six fingers and six toes. The baby's heartrate was at 160 bpm, meaning that he was in distress.
The prognosis was fatal. IF the baby survived the next few months, he would suffocate at birth, since his brain was incapable of supporting lung function. Once the cord was cut and I was no longer suppling a bloodflow, the baby was not capable of sustaining life.
Devastated is not the word for how I felt. We were beyond that. I cannot begin to describe it. We were ushered into a genetic counselor's office, who was wonderful explaining all about this horrific and rare syndrome, but i really didn't care about it's history or what they called it. I knew what I needed to know. Our baby was dying...and with each passing moment his suffering was being prolonged.
After several nights of uncontrollable crying, intense conversations, prayer and soul-searching, my husband and i made the heartbreaking decision to terminate this pregnancy. Each time I thought of the images that were burned into my brain, the ultrasound images of each and every horrible and fatal abnormality, the thought of this baby fighting to be born only to suffocate was beyond me. I wanted to die with him.
My case was sent to the Head of Reproductive Genetics at a hospital that specialized in Maternal Fetal Medicine. He had to evaluate my case before consenting to perform a P/B abortion. He agreed that continuing the pregnancy would be a threat to my health, and there was no chance of survival for the baby.
At 23 weeks, I underwent a D&E. Because of problems with my blood pressure, the doctors concluded that general anestetic was out of the question. I had to be awake for the procedure, and was given a spinal block as a local anestetic. It was agonizing and awful, and though i was given a mild tranquilizer, I remember every moment. By this time, there was virtually no amniotic fluid left, hardly enough for a amniocentisis. The baby's heartrate had dropped to 35 bpm...he was dying before the procedure began.
As they finished, my doctor came over to me and told me the shocking discovery that they had made. My body had already begun attempting to absorb the fetus, and he was attached to my uterus. Had I chosen to attempt to continue the pregnancy, I would have lost my uterus completely. If the baby had died in-utero, my body would have begun to try to expel it, and my uterus would have ruptured causing a severe hemhorrage. I could have died within minutes. The attachment was just above my spine on the left side, which is what was causing the intense pressure and my inability to walk.
Afterwards, we were sent for genetic testing and learned that we are both "normal." The Trisomy 13 was declared "de novo" meaning that it was a "fluke" (as much as it pains me to use that word). It was caused by a meiotic non-disjuntion, meaning that either the egg or sperm had been created with an extra #13 chromosome, and the pair were stuck-together instead of dividing.
It is now two years later, and I recently learned that I am again pregnant, and I am thrilled again, yet more than a little scared of facing the same type of scenario. It took me a long time to get up the courage to try again, and I can only pray that I will soon be holding a baby in my arms. I also know that this baby wouldn't be on it's way if I hadn't made the decision to end the suffering of my first child.
You may agree or disagree with the decision that my husband and I made, that is your prerogative. But please, don't make this decision for someone else. It is intensely difficult and personal, and should be left between a woman, the father of the child and their doctors. Unless you have been through a situation like this, you cannot begin to understand it.
If P/B abortion must be banned, then so be it, but an exception MUST be made for the health of the mother. If it had been passed two short years ago without this health exception, the baby that I am carrying now wouldn't exist.
I'm not the AMA, and certainly not a medical expert, but simply a woman who has walked in the shoes that all of you are pretending to walk in.
When I was 28, my husband and I learned that I was pregnant with our first child. We were ecstatic. I cannot begin to describe the rush of excitement that I felt when I learned I was carrying our child. We had been together for 11 years, and had just gotten married 3 months before when I learned that I was 4 weeks along.
My early months were marred with problems....spotting and unusual waves of severe dizziness. As the months went on, my bleeding let up somewhat (as I was restricted from just about everything, and followed my doctor's orders to the tee!) but I was soon plagued by a severe pain in my lower back which progressed down my left leg. By 4 months, my walking was severely impaired. Doctor after doctor, ultrasound after ultrasound, no answer as to what was causing my pain. By the time I had reached my fifth month, I was almost incapable of walking, and knew full well that a wheelchair would be necessary if it continued to worsen.
I went for a routine ultrasound at 19 weeks, and it was then that we received the devastating news. Our baby's brain had not divided, but the radiologist was having a difficult time getting a clear picture, so we were sent to a reknowned hospital for a Level II. I was seen by one of the top sonographers in the country (not intentionally, we just got lucky that he happened to be available at the time). Within minutes after beginning the ultrasound, we were devastated to learn that our baby was suffering from a severe case of Trisomy 13, meaning that there was a triplicate of the #13 chromosome, instead of the normal pair. The baby had one eye in the center of his face, and no nose. The lip was cleft (though the facial distortion was so severe that the cleft was not confirmed). The brain had not divided and was shaped like a hollow "C." The baby was incapable of movement, aside from basic reflex actions. In essence, the brain stopped forming at the stage of a 2-week fetus, and though it would continue to grow in size, it would not continue to form and function. The ears were low set on the neck, and the top of the face was sloped. There was a large hole in the heart. The kidneys were not functioning and filled with fluid. The bowels were enclosed in a sac outside of the baby's body. The genetalia were completely deformed, making it impossible to determine the sex without karotyping the chromosomes. There were six fingers and six toes. The baby's heartrate was at 160 bpm, meaning that he was in distress.
The prognosis was fatal. IF the baby survived the next few months, he would suffocate at birth, since his brain was incapable of supporting lung function. Once the cord was cut and I was no longer suppling a bloodflow, the baby was not capable of sustaining life.
Devastated is not the word for how I felt. We were beyond that. I cannot begin to describe it. We were ushered into a genetic counselor's office, who was wonderful explaining all about this horrific and rare syndrome, but i really didn't care about it's history or what they called it. I knew what I needed to know. Our baby was dying...and with each passing moment his suffering was being prolonged.
After several nights of uncontrollable crying, intense conversations, prayer and soul-searching, my husband and i made the heartbreaking decision to terminate this pregnancy. Each time I thought of the images that were burned into my brain, the ultrasound images of each and every horrible and fatal abnormality, the thought of this baby fighting to be born only to suffocate was beyond me. I wanted to die with him.
My case was sent to the Head of Reproductive Genetics at a hospital that specialized in Maternal Fetal Medicine. He had to evaluate my case before consenting to perform a P/B abortion. He agreed that continuing the pregnancy would be a threat to my health, and there was no chance of survival for the baby.
At 23 weeks, I underwent a D&E. Because of problems with my blood pressure, the doctors concluded that general anestetic was out of the question. I had to be awake for the procedure, and was given a spinal block as a local anestetic. It was agonizing and awful, and though i was given a mild tranquilizer, I remember every moment. By this time, there was virtually no amniotic fluid left, hardly enough for a amniocentisis. The baby's heartrate had dropped to 35 bpm...he was dying before the procedure began.
As they finished, my doctor came over to me and told me the shocking discovery that they had made. My body had already begun attempting to absorb the fetus, and he was attached to my uterus. Had I chosen to attempt to continue the pregnancy, I would have lost my uterus completely. If the baby had died in-utero, my body would have begun to try to expel it, and my uterus would have ruptured causing a severe hemhorrage. I could have died within minutes. The attachment was just above my spine on the left side, which is what was causing the intense pressure and my inability to walk.
Afterwards, we were sent for genetic testing and learned that we are both "normal." The Trisomy 13 was declared "de novo" meaning that it was a "fluke" (as much as it pains me to use that word). It was caused by a meiotic non-disjuntion, meaning that either the egg or sperm had been created with an extra #13 chromosome, and the pair were stuck-together instead of dividing.
It is now two years later, and I recently learned that I am again pregnant, and I am thrilled again, yet more than a little scared of facing the same type of scenario. It took me a long time to get up the courage to try again, and I can only pray that I will soon be holding a baby in my arms. I also know that this baby wouldn't be on it's way if I hadn't made the decision to end the suffering of my first child.
You may agree or disagree with the decision that my husband and I made, that is your prerogative. But please, don't make this decision for someone else. It is intensely difficult and personal, and should be left between a woman, the father of the child and their doctors. Unless you have been through a situation like this, you cannot begin to understand it.
If P/B abortion must be banned, then so be it, but an exception MUST be made for the health of the mother. If it had been passed two short years ago without this health exception, the baby that I am carrying now wouldn't exist.
I'm not the AMA, and certainly not a medical expert, but simply a woman who has walked in the shoes that all of you are pretending to walk in.
