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Post by BOLO on Dec 5, 2004 12:50:36 GMT -5
Liberals can not be pigeonholed or defined. They can however be described in Generalities. ;D Here you go.  Liberals Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts? A: Change. Q: How do you confuse a Liberal? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: Why is it good to have a Democrat passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted. A Democrat died and a friend went around collecting for a fund for his funeral. A woman was asked to donate ten dollars. "Ten dollars?" she said. "It only takes ten dollars to bury a Democrat? Here's a hundred - go bury 10 of them!" Q: How do you keep a Democrat busy? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: How do you keep a Liberal busy all day? A: Put him in a round room and tell him to wait in the corner. Q: What do you call a Democrat with an IQ of 130? A: A foursome Q: How do you get a one-armed Liberal out of a tree? A: Wave to him. Q: What do you call a basement full of Liberals? A: A whine cellar. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 Democrats. Q: What is foreplay for a Democrat? A: Thirty minutes of begging. Q: What is the Democrat doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: Why did the Liberal have blisters on his lips? A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs. Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. A Democrat found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." He said, "I wish I were smarter". So the genie made him a Republican. Q: What the difference between a Democrat and the rear end of a horse? A: I don't know either. Q: How is a Liberal different from a sewer rat? A: Some people actually like sewer rats. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They prefer to walk in the dark. Q: Why do so many Liberals live in L.A.? A: It's the only city that is easy enough for them to spell. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A Democrat parade. Q: What is it called when a Liberal blows in another Liberal's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: Why don't they let Liberals swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a Democrat. Q: What's the difference between a Liberal and a sack of manure? A: The sack. Q: What's the definition of a Democrat running for Congress for the first time? A: A mouse trying to become a rat.   ;D ;D ;D  ;D   |
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Post by Ian on Dec 10, 2004 15:27:26 GMT -5
LMFAO
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Post by UncleVinny on Dec 10, 2004 17:29:12 GMT -5
Oh, isn't that special! If nothing else, liberals think twice about going to war.  |
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Post by Ian on Dec 10, 2004 17:36:10 GMT -5
Yeah like Kennedy and Vietnam or Truman and Korea.  |
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Post by Patriot on Dec 10, 2004 17:43:14 GMT -5
Vinny, War is rated "R". Under 17 not admitted. It's always been that way. If your emotional status is still at an undeveloped level, don't look. If you can't stand that pic, don't even think about watching the "beheading videos" available on the internet in which innocent civilians are systematically robbed of their heads, by hacking, not slicing, on the part of the Iraqis. beheadingvideo.vzz.net/full_american_hostages_beheading_videos.htmlThose are American and British prisoners. They're not even military personnel. The Marine in that photo shot someone who was, at the minimum, faking death. There was an incident a few months ago where several Mujahdeen pretended to surrender only to pull out machine guns and rake down Americans who took them at their word. Mujahadeen are deceitful and if we don't kill 'em on their feet, we'll have to kill them on their faces. |
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Post by midcan5 on Dec 23, 2004 14:17:49 GMT -5
Two can play this game. Let me present just a few of the memes, myths, or biases of the right. I have been observing the right for many years now and am always amazed at the consistency of ideas.
Cheap-labor Conservative myths
This is a list of concepts and ideas that arrange the way a person thinks about a number of topics. The list includes items that are positive and negative and often it is the degree to which something is believed or used that determines the way they understand any of the issues that face us as Americans. They serve as categories that allow easy classification without thinking or reasoning.
You believe taxes are bad
You believe a government that taxes is bad
You believe Unions are bad
You believe giving tax cuts to those who ship jobs overseas is good
You believe people on welfare are cheaters
You believe welfare is bad
You believe CEOs making 100 million are getting paid fairly
You believe minimum wage is enough
You believe millions of dollars of compensation for the rich is good
You believe giveaways to the poor are bad
You believe government contracts for the rich are good
You believe anyone without a job isn't looking
You support small business but not the Small Business Administration
You support small business but give dividend relief to the large corporations
You support small business but tax breaks go to the top 1%
You support small business but you shop at Walmart
You support small business but you buy foreign products
Government is a bad thing but the military industrial complex is a good thing
Regulation is bad but bailing out failed corporations is good
You talk Jesus and the power of religion but vote more corporate power
You talk family values but vote more corporate power
You talk less government but support more corporate power
You talk honesty but support more corporate power
You believe in a domino theory of actions
You believe in the slippery slope of morals
You believe the liberalism that founded American democracy is now wrong
You protest against cultural elitism not corporate greed
You protest against abortion not lack of education and funding
You protest against evolution not the inequality of wages
You protest against atheism not poor living conditions
to be continued
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Post by scrap on Dec 23, 2004 17:38:05 GMT -5
Forgive me for posting this a second time, but it seems like an appropriate place.
Sad Truth with Humor:
News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader. The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine."
"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the butt.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal assholes call ME the aggressor?
I believe this sums up my opinion of liberals.
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Post by midcan5 on Dec 23, 2004 18:03:11 GMT -5
It always strikes me as curious that a joke becomes analysis for conservatives. Do you think that all the soldiers who serve are conservative? I served during Nam and we ran the range then as we were drafted. My father and father in law both served in WWII and I would consider both liberal. Most in my immediate family served and most are liberal. WWII two was won by liberal presidents. Conservatives in many instances were isolationists. Cons can criticize but you only have to look at the current administration and the top people to know who served this country and who got deferments.
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Post by BOLO on Dec 23, 2004 18:23:27 GMT -5
I believe everything strikes you as curious. You have no other way to be.
Do you think all soldiers who served are Liberals?
I served during Nam, in Nam. We had a full list of Marines.
What did you have? Politicians?
My Father and Uncle served in WW II, Korea and Viet Nam. My Grandfathers in WW I, Before that my ancestors served in the Army of the Confederacy and the Army of the Potomac. (GAR)
So what? I consider them all Soldiers. You consider yours politicians.
WW II was not won by Liberals. The people that won that war served in the Military and the Generals were overall Republican in bent. Presidents do not win wars. Military people do. Not politicians. Military people. I bet that escapes you.
The most radical isolationist were in fact Democrats.
Liberals can criticize...and they do. They just can't tell the truth.
President Bush did not receive a deferment.
And with those lies you label yourself for what you are.
P.S. One last thing. You are full of it. Over your head. Brown eyes.
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Post by scrap on Dec 23, 2004 18:56:35 GMT -5
It always strikes me as curious that a joke becomes analysis for conservatives. Do you think that all the soldiers who serve are conservative? I served during Nam and we ran the range then as we were drafted. My father and father in law both served in WWII and I would consider both liberal. Most in my immediate family served and most are liberal. WWII two was won by liberal presidents. Conservatives in many instances were isolationists. Cons can criticize but you only have to look at the current administration and the top people to know who served this country and who got deferments. What makes you think I was joking? I can only assume the rest of your family was drafted also. Bolo is correct with his analysis of who wins wars. The President may be in charge but a smart one lets his Military men make their own decisions. I'll give him credit for dropping the bomb, but as a liberal are you ready to accept that. After all innocent civilians lost their lives. Where did you get the idea that our President had a deferment. Typical liberal bulls.... say it often enough and you believe it. |
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Post by BOLO on Dec 23, 2004 20:06:36 GMT -5
Correct. Don't bother amplifying.
You can't and won't.
Again correct. See above.
Your point?
You believe telling half a story is good business.
Which is typical Liberal distortion.
I know you couldn't tell the Truth on this one if you knew it.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 Democrats
Get yourself a cigar.
Wrong. Not attributable to conservative.
Cuts across the spectrum. We believe it is corrupt. Which it is.
Typical Liberal. Couldn't get it right.
See above Q. and A.
Yes, and what I make or what they make is none of your business.
It's called 'free enterprise', and 'let the market decide'. Something that as a Liberal you will never understand.
Wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We believe it is un necessary.
Also stupid, and against the free market concept.
Haven't a clue as to what you are alluding to.
Don't know that I care. It will be the usual Liberal Socio/Economic claptrap.
You got that right. Let em earn it like I did.
Give em something and they walk away with it.
Tell em to earn it and they stick around to earn more. Is that over your head? Yes, it is, isn't it?
So OK Bright Boy. I'll give a Gov contract to the Poor. Now exactly what is it they are going to do?
Here's you sign!!!
Cuts across the Spectrum. Not something solely attributable to the Conservatives.
Comes from finding out in most cases we're right.
Don't know where you came up with that one.
Care to cite facts and stats?
Or are you a vinny?
Not something you can support.
That relief is beyond Gov control.
It's industry related and run. The two are seperable, and are. (seperated)
In other words, none of my business
More statments you can not support.
You can not produce any facts to back up either, that we (Conservatives) support it or that it indeed is true.
Now that's STUPID!!!
I know my Democrat friends shop there also.
WalMart could not survive if it was only Conservatives shopping there.
That is a really ignorant statement to make, and a clear indication of your twisted Liberal mindset.
I know many conservatives that would love an alternative.
There are none out there.
So do you.
Another stupid statement.
One applicable across the spectrum
Big Gov and uncontrolled Gov is a bad thing.
The defense of this Country is always a good thing.
military industrial complex?
You reading Lenin? Sheesh that one is old and tired.
Who is the MIC?
Aww. Never mind.
You got it wrong. Not surprising.
I don't happen to believe that. Any one else?
More Garbage.
Those two do not mix. It makes no sense, but then very little you say does.
The two are not tied together.
See preceeding.
I know of no such vote. I didn't vote it. Who did?
Apples and Oranges any way. You sure got a hard on for the free Enterprise system don't you?
What the Corporations do is their business unless it violates the law.
Sheesh you are redundant and you like mixing non compatible ingredients.
An evident attempt to tie 'Corporate' and 'Dishonesty' together. Most Corporations are small business and very ethical. You on the other hand..well that's a question.
Eisenhower? You quote Eisenhower as Representative of Conservative mind think. The biggest endorsers were Kennedy and Johnson. You are a garbage brain.
Comes from watching Liberal like you slide down them.
:) :) :) :) :) :) ;) ;) ;) ;) :D :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)
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Post by UncleVinny on Dec 24, 2004 15:19:36 GMT -5
Looks like some of the Neo-Cons want to revise the Bible! Here is one instance where I remain a conservative !!! I say no to the edits.  What do you think? From www.sorryworld4bush.com/sorry.html#bbbClassic Bush Bible edits to fit his world vision: Isaiah 2:4 Original: "And they will hammer their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, and never again will they learn war." Bush edit: “And they shall hammer their swords into ‘bunker-buster’ nuclear weapons, and never will they learn peace again.”<br> Matthew 22:39 Original: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Bush edit: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself, except if they are in the NAACP, an environmentalist, or live in a red state.”<br> Matthew 5:44 Original: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Bush edit: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, and if they don’t come around, invade their country, kill their people, and take over their oil fields.”<br> Matthew 5:39 Original: “Do not resist him who is evil. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also." Bush edit: “Do not resist him who is evil. Instead recruit young, impressionable patriots, and let them do the fighting.”<br> 1 John 4:7 Original: “Let us love one another, for love is from God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." Bush edit: “Let us love one another, for love is from God, unless it’s gay love, which is from Satan.”<br> Matthew 5:5 Original: “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth." Bush edit: “Blessed are the energy corporations, as they shall inherit the earth, starting with the Alaska wilderness preserves.”<br> Proverbs 22:7 Original: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lenders’ slave." Bush edit: “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lenders’ slave. But with any luck, you can pass on massive budget deficits to the next generation.” |
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Post by midcan5 on Dec 24, 2004 21:36:35 GMT -5
Bolo,
Curiosity is healthy, so yes, I hope that is always the case. No, all soldiers were not liberal but neither were they conservative if truth be known here, I doubt the distinction existed as you or I would understand today. That division is a creation of conservative think tanks - enemies (labeling enemies) always bring people together. Politicians? please, I can put words into my own mouth. Bush was a draft dodger to most in our generation - you may not think that but that has nothing to do with the feeling of most who actually served. Iraq was started by Bush, I think it is fair to say that WWII was ended by liberal democratic presidents. PS Eisenhower was very liberal while a republican. Again those distinctions have changed. Nothing I wrote was a lie so it hard for me to understand how you arrive at that. What you really do is stretch my words to fit your ideological world view and then pretend your straw argument has relevance. Weak. My eyes are green?
And merry Christmas.
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Post by midcan5 on Dec 24, 2004 21:43:43 GMT -5
Scrap,
No, most of us enlisted, I come from a large family and it was a means to move on. I didn't say Bush had a deferment - I would say it is quite obvious he had special consideration. That, though, is the way the world works.
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Post by MO on Dec 24, 2004 21:58:43 GMT -5
Viiny- May I request you keep your blasphemy born of ignorance cut and pastes off the board during the holidays, just out of respect? You clearly don't even understand the first passage you quoted, or you would know it is not a general statement and does not pertain to this time period.
Thank you!
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