Abbot Wood's Daily Curse

[ArchBishopWood]

After pouring over my associate bishop's inspired conception of a daily blessing I pondered on the fact that in all things there are always two complimentary parts. Whether directly discernible or not, the principle always holds true in every stratum transcending periods of history and realms of reality:

۰ The Heavenly Father and the Hell Angels

۰ Carthage and Rome

۰ Elizabeth R and Mary, Queen of Scots

۰ Stalin and Trotsky

۰ Seinfeld and Newman

So why, I asked hold up in my cozy bed chamber, can there not be two complimenting forces engaged in two separate battles yet working towards the same goal? That is when it came to me, perhaps the Holy Ghost Himself! While Bishop Johnson was engaged in keeping the souls of the Church ripe and reassured I would commence in the destruction of those hopeless souls still floundering in society fattening their worthless selves on the calories of a Big Mac® and a Latte. So, being thusly knighted by the King of Kings, let the divine destruction begin!

The response shall be "Lord hear our prayer".

That the soul of the recently deposed Supreme Whore meet with her fellow bedevilled within the year:

Lord hear our prayer

That her companions in legal lunacy follow close behind her, especially: Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen G. Breyer, David H. Souter, Anthony Kennedy and John Paul Stevens:

Lord hear our prayer

And that the vile, barren souls of the leaders of the obstructionist party in the ensuing confirmation battle (John McCain, Susan Collins, Olympia Snowe, and the entire Democratic body) be damned to the earthly hells embodied in: Throat Cancer, Blindness, Withering of Appendages, Bloating, Herpes, Alzheimer's, the Jack and Bodily Nesting Insects:

Lord hear our prayer



I shant offer a correspondence until Tuesday, the diocese is offering the traditional exhibition of the Hell fires in celebration of the nation's 229th.

Blessings and Curses,

Abbot Wood

[MO]

[Patriot]

Abbot Wood,


In one heart and mind we join you in the cry, "Lord, hear our prayer". I will look forward to each and every one of your godly curses against the Wicked, which I anticipate will soon spew forth on a daily basis starting next week. Don't let us down, Bishop! Pick through the newspaper if you have to.

I myself would like to bring a few personas before your alter as starting material for the Holy Curse Thread and will offer them to you if you permit it.

[ArchBishopWood]

NOTE: To provide an all-encompassing spiritual experience I have included a sacred soundtrack to my missive. Click the link and then peruse at your leisure, but sit up straight!

Ballad of Holy Intent


Dear Parish Faithful,

Being full of a surplus of the blood of Christ and the veneration of the majestic history of this greatest of nations, I thought “What better way to baptize this ongoing allocution then with the blood of the one who embodies the absolute antithesis of all that we have celebrated?”. I must admit I was under the influence of His spirit and perhaps not in the majority of my faculties because when I awoke from a most blessed stupor this July 5th morn my memory was refocused to Isaiah 1:11 in which the Lord states in so many words:

“I have no pleasure in the blood of goats.”

Thus my obsession with the absolute excommunication and scribal sacrifice of the midcan heretic has been corrected so I shall offer merely a prayerful condemnation and a worldly sacrifice as someone of his lowly stature is surely not befitting of His acceptance (even in sacrifice). As that reverenced of all justices Judge Judith Sheindlin would say “I’m not done torturing you yet”.

The response shall be: Lord hear our prayer.

That all who join in lockstep with the Heretic’s traitorous traipse be speedily struck down by the mighty hand of the Lord or receive a swift swipe across the rearmost part of the head from a bishop’s chalice:

Lord hear our prayer

That all who sought to join in the Heretic’s contrived nature of celebration with the Hell fires were quickly reduced to a smoldering pile of gore:

Lord hear our prayer

That Bono’s movement to rid the continent of Africa of its debt succeeds in its true goal of all Irish people; keeping the savages out of Ireland:

Lord hear our prayer

That Arlen Specter continue with unfettered determination towards his certain metamorphosis into a turtle:



Lord hear our prayer

Blessings and Curses,

Abbot Wood

[MO]

For those of you who have trouble coming up with your own curses, there is always the curse generator.

www.shipoffools.com/curses/index.html

[Archbishop Johnson]

Amen, Abbot Wood. I add the weight of my own holiness to the curse you have placed upon Midcan. May his testicles shrink with every Sunday he misses a church service. Praise God.

[midcan5]

"To silence criticism is to silence freedom." Sidney Hook

"The First Amendment says nothing about a right not to be offended. The risk of finding someone else's speech offensive is the price each of us pays for our own free speech. Free people don't run to court -- or to the principal -- when they encounter a message they don't like. They answer it with one of their own." Jeff Jacoby

"[Censors are] people with secret attractions to various temptations... They are defending themselves under the pretext of defending others, because at heart they fear their own weaknesses." Ernest Jones

[ArchBishopWood]

Let me loosely quote Ezekiel 18:3:

"As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, you will no longer quote [these] proverb in Israel."

I have been on this board long enough to realize that the midcan heretic digests all the scraps of pop culture inanity it can consume and spews it forth in the vein of the bursting of a great excrescence of idiocy.

Develop you own arguments beast or perish in the fires of intellectual ambiguity!

The power of Christ compels you!

Abbot Wood