|
|
Post by ArchBishopWood on Jun 21, 2005 8:11:41 GMT -5
Greetings from the de novo Diocese Abutor Imprudentia Deflagratio!
Dear Friends, Constituents, Laymen,
After a brief absence, doing the Lord's work and cultivating the theological powerhouse of Diocese Abutor Imprudentia Deflagratio I have returned to a most disappointing spectacle.
With the ever increasing declination of the intellectual standing of this board, I have, in foregoing days, felt the need for a certain transmutation. As of late, ArchBishop Johnson and I have discovered that the hollowed cyber-halls of rantweb have been desecrated by an indiscernible rambling of an intellectually unkempt few. The few shall remain nameless; however, they slither and slander around various divisions of the board under the aliases of midcan5 and several others. It does indeed seem at times that the only member of the board that creates even remotely sound arguments is the noble Patriot.
What began as a friendly philosophical discussion between your noble bishops as we strolled along the courtyards of the Diocese Abutor Imprudentia Deflagratio, has blossomed into an overwhelming vocation to rid these halls of the moral and intellectual ambiguity that slowly and surreptitiously corrodes them and once again instate the exceptional wit, superlative diction and unparalleled cleanliness of the environment of intellectualism that we had come to know and love of the digital purlieu that is Rant Forum.
We see it as our sole province to abrogate any and all traces of ignorance, arrogance or arrogant ignorance in the hopes of installing a state of impertinent discourse and shall use all means, including our unparalleled wit and at times explore the vestiges of holy writ in order to secure this most noble of endeavors.
It is once in a life time (and doubtlessly less for most) that one is offered the blessed opportunity to caricature Christ’s rampage through the Temple. That is why, ArchBishop Johnson and I have found it our most solemn duty, our most weighing millstone, our most extingent responsibility to endeavor towards that most divine Providence that has been set before us, regardless of self, in order to fulfill that Providence so that we may share in the glory with all the angels and saints and akin to Christ, rampage we shall!
I now yield the floor to my most capable of contemporaries if and when he decides to appear.
ArchBishop Wood
Abbot of Diocese Abutor Imprudentia Deflagratio
|
|
|
|
Post by scrap on Jun 21, 2005 10:57:11 GMT -5
WHAT?
|
|
|
|
Post by ArchBishopWood on Jun 21, 2005 11:08:30 GMT -5
Brother scrap,
I do implore your absolution on one point. When I referenced Patriot as the only emissary of rational reasoning, I was of course abstracted from the powerful presence of scrap (our resident conservative cavalryman).
I might add that TNRighty was also absent from my most holy of missives and for that I am sincerely conciliatory.
Blessings,
ArchBishop Wood
|
|
|
|
Post by scrap on Jun 21, 2005 11:28:02 GMT -5
My reply was not meant for inclusion into the ranks of the mighty debaters of this forum as my skills in that arena are sorely lacking.
It was made simply in jest as I tried to ingest all the syllables in your post.
I may have to pull out my copy of Websters and do some cogitating on those gargantuan words.
Your humble and feeble servant,
Scrap
|
|
|
|
Post by midcan5 on Jun 21, 2005 17:52:16 GMT -5
Ah the ramblings of an inexplicable man of the cloth feet planted on earth mind lost in the heavens hello arch-villain of sinfulness and plumply black vestured effete snob, how are you Bishop? Hell awaits us all as surely God has no place for a soft handed moralist preaching zero as yourself casting fire and brimstone weekly scaring children and the old with tales of burning in a place you hope to avoid because of the vested cloth and pious hypocrisy of an empty barreled sloth of a man who never knew a callous or a woman but preaches fervently the ways of work and of love filling himself with the wines and pleasures of life brought to him by others and whose handiwork is nothing.
|
|
|
|
Post by ArchBishopWood on Jun 21, 2005 20:31:51 GMT -5
Midcan the Heretic speaks!
Satan has hidden in countless hyperboles! It surprises me not that he has chosen his latest vessel in the overblown diatribes of midcan!
I must profess, however, that your description sounded curiously akin to Satan’s most faithful servant and head of Satan’s party, Howard Dean; never knew a callous or a woman (by the looks of that hellish beast he has united himself with) but preaches fervently the ways of work.
Repent sinner, before St. Michael the Archangel allows us god-fearing Christians to wait no longer and descends from heaven himself to proverbially bitch-slap your ass into the Styx so you might float down to rest in the fiery nether world for which you’re destined.
Blessings,
ArchBishop Wood
|
|
|
|
Post by Archbishop Johnson on Jun 21, 2005 23:42:16 GMT -5
Dear Abbot Wood,
Our great God has deigned to open the bowels of Heaven, pouring down blessings upon us, his chosen. Praise the name of our Father, who art Jehovah Jirah.
It is with great anticipation that I greet this new day, which brings the chance to do the work of the Divine Will. I fully concur that an Inquisition of Purging is needed in these hallowed halls, that we may return to the pure and unfettered Truth which hath kept the world sure from the beginning.
Lead thou ever onward, my dear Abbot, and let the Holy Rampage begin!
|
|
|
|
Post by midcan5 on Jun 22, 2005 16:05:41 GMT -5
Archbishopwood rather than imploring the lost souls in joining with you in righteous indignation over the sinfulness of man chooses rather to denigrate a mere human being and adds to that a jibe at his wife, maybe this is not truly a man of the cloth but rather an impostor, a heretic stirring the pot of discord so that all mankind is condemned as he is to everlasting hell pay him no mind me thinks.
|
|
|
|
Post by ArchBishopWood on Jun 22, 2005 16:25:00 GMT -5
Heretic!
You posses neither the eloquence of diction, the poetry of imagination, nor the brilliance of metaphor to spar in this verbal duel! As for the types of comments I make, to paraphrase a great man "Sometimes I just, By God, get carried away with my own eloquence". This, however, was not one of those times. You seem a ripe candidate for your noble bishops to let loose both barrels and fire our angelic destruction upon your schismatic face! Archbishop Johnson release! (the angelic destruction not the...)
Matthew 25:46 "And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal".
Revelation 19:20 "And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone".
Revelation 14:10-11 "The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb: And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name".
Revelation 20:10 "The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever".
Revelation 20:15 "And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire".
|
|
|
|
Post by Archbishop Johnson on Jun 23, 2005 7:44:16 GMT -5
www.techcentralstation.com/images/demadvice.jpgMidcan worships the Donkey of the Democratic Party, and is hence an idol-worshipper. Because Midcan worships the Donkey, he worships the Ass. He is, in other words, an Ass Worshipper. How dare an assinine ass-worshipper accuse Archbishop Wood of heresy! How can one who is guilty of idolatry, accuse another of heresy? Thou art a hypocrite, Midcan. Knowest thou not what holy writ sayeth about hypocrites? They are defined as: - Whitewashed Tombs
- Serpents and Vipers
- Fools
Hear this, ye who bow before the Ass. The Ass thou doth honor, shall soon unleash a mighty blast in thy face, namely, a gargantuan fart of ungodliness, and send thee sprawling headlong to the earth, from whence thou came.
|
|
|
|
Post by scrap on Jun 24, 2005 14:11:38 GMT -5
www.techcentralstation.com/images/demadvice.jpgMidcan worships the Donkey of the Democratic Party, and is hence an idol-worshipper. Because Midcan worships the Donkey, he worships the Ass. He is, in other words, an Ass Worshipper. How dare an assinine ass-worshipper accuse Archbishop Wood of heresy! How can one who is guilty of idolatry, accuse another of heresy? Thou art a hypocrite, Midcan. Knowest thou not what holy writ sayeth about hypocrites? They are defined as: - Whitewashed Tombs
- Serpents and Vipers
- Fools
Hear this, ye who bow before the Ass. The Ass thou doth honor, shall soon unleash a mighty blast in thy face, namely, a gargantuan fart of ungodliness, and send thee sprawling headlong to the earth, from whence thou came. The problem as I see it is alarming so to speak. The gargantuan fart of of unGodliness aimed at Midcan and his ilk when mixed with the unHoly hot air emanating from said ilk could cause a monstrous conflagration. We innocent bystanders might get caught up in this explosion of immense proportions and be struck down. I believe a time table of sorts and a location would not be too much to ask for. They've died many verbal and theoretical deaths on this forum and for some I've even felt their pain. But this is something they should face alone. So dig into the depths of your powers delve deep into your insight read your tarot cards or consult your "Oiugi"(sp) board or whatever it is you do and give the rest of us some warning. Your humble Cavalryman Scrap |
|
